Spiral Visions Blog

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Christine Trochesset, Tribal Attitude Troupe Director, recently invited me to attend the Grand Opening of the Body, Mind, and Spirit Studio earlier this month. The studio is located on the second floor of the The New Tama Building in Burlington, IA. I was unable to attend as I had hoped....but I'm really happy to know about this new "healing place" available in my neck of the woods. I participated in some belly dance sessions taught by Christine at the The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship last year. I had a lot of fun jiggling my hips about even if I wasn't the most coordinated participant. I'll have to check out Christine's new location sometime soon.

Tribal Attitude is a non-profit organization whose sole purpose is to promote various aspects of Middle Eastern, Southwest Asian, and American Tribal Style Dance through the sharing of knowledge. By providing an opportunity for study and research in costuming, music, history, the development of the dance, and culture, the troupe hopes to improve the image of the dance as a performing art form...

Recently I became disgruntled when someone asked me a question about the way I live my life. The question itself did not particularly annoy me, but the undertones that I detected in the questioner's voice put me on the defensive. I was careful not to show my annoyance outwardly because I'm just stubborn enough not to want this particular person to know that her pushy demeanor had gotten under my skin. But it DID!

I cannot recall the exact words that this woman used to "attack" me in her question, but the basic theme of her inquiry was whether or not I was happy with where my life choices have placed me. She wanted to know if I was content with my current situation and, if I were to live my life all over again, would I choose to do things differently so that I could be in a better or different place? My answer was, emphatically, that I would not change anything

Poor Choices Have Helped Build my Character

The choices I've made in life are behind me and I don't waste time regretting any of them. Do I think I made poor choices at times? Of course I do, but hey, that's what happened. Some of my choices may have landed me in unpleasant circumstances, but experiencing these things certainly built my current character. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for those character-building situations. Take any of those choices out of the equation and I'd be an entirely different person. I don't want to be another person, I like my person.

It became clear to me that this woman, who is privy to some of my personal history, could not relate to my choices and was curious as to how I felt about them. I felt like I was under a microscope and being examined through the eyes of a careless, meddling, critic. I may have been reading her all wrong, but it felt as if she viewed my life as having little significance and absolutely nothing worthwhile to embrace. She acted greatly surprised when I told her I was very content with my life and would not do anything different, if given the opportunity.

It irked me that she was looking at me with a critical point of view. Basically I sensed that she was flabbergasted with my response. My eyes focused upon her face and saw a look that asked "How could you possibly be okay with the status quo?" Perhaps her astonishment to my answer revealed more about how she felt about herself than how she felt about me. I wondered if perhaps she might actually be harboring regrets from her own past and simply assumed that everyone else would also.

Reflecting on my Initial Reaction

However, now that a few days have gone by and I've had more time to reflect, not on her question, but on my reaction to her question, I realize that I may not be entirely "okay" with how things are with me and my life in general.

I'm certainly not happy when others look at me with critical intention. And although, intellectually, I know that I have no control over the way others view me, I can still get caught up in that old trap of wanting everyone to look favorably at me. As a child it was very important for me to have others think well of me. I took some hard knocks emotionally whenever I realized that someone didn't desire me as their friend. Ouch! I eventually learned that it was okay if someone didn't particularly care for me. I came to this realization only after I thought about certain children among my peers in my grade school classes whose personalities I didn't care for. If it was okay for me not to like everyone, then I certainly could not expect everyone to care for me. I came to the conclusion that it was okay not to be liked by everyone. You're okay. I'm okay. We don't have to be friends for us all to be okay.

Reevaluating Past Life Lessons

Life has a way of recycling its lessons to make sure we have learned them thoroughly. The insecure child inside me does care what others think about her. "What's not to like?" my inner child says to herself.

Here I am, only a few weeks away from my fiftieth birthday, and the universe suddenly slaps me with a simple question that awakens in me the unnerving feeling that I need to reevaluate my current state of affairs for a second time. Am I truly walking a "path with heart," as Don Juan Matus would ask?

What do you do when a person for whom I hold no great esteem, suddenly confronts me with words that brought certain childhood feelings bubbling back up to the very surface of my being? Just how deep is the need to be liked by our peers and the greater need to be acknowledged by them for having lived a worthy life buried in my psyche? I wonder.

Don't Stick a Fork in Me - I'm Not Done Yet

Now, as I am faced with reevaluating my strong desire to be regarded favorably by others, I have come to realize that I am most comfortable when I am not being regarded at all by people, rather than being regarded unfavorably. "See me kindly or please don't look at me" could easily be my motto. Unfortunately, we cannot all live under rocks and avoid uncomfortable confrontations. I must admit that this woman, who got under my skin with her rude questioning, actually offered me a gift. Now I get to look deeper inside and discover more about myself. Yes, that's a gift. A valuable gift!

But, if you were to ask me the same questions: "Are you happy with your life?", would you change anything or do anything different?", no matter what the tone resounding in your voice, or intention revealed by your demeanor? My answer would be the same]

Yes, I am content with my current life. I would not change a single thing. I take responsibility for all my past choices and value them for the life lessons they offer. Naturally, I'm not finished evolving yet. My life is not at a standstill. I'm a work in progress, so please don't stick a fork in me. I'm not quite done yet!

How to Life Your Life Without Regrets

Copyright © 2004 Phylameana lila Désy

Reiki Body Massage

Giving your partner a Reiki massage is an openhearted and nurturing demonstration of your love. For some couples, it may be a good way to arouse each other sexually. For others, it may have a calming, relaxing effect, easing the stresses from the recipient's body and sending them right into a slumber pose. Whether you use it for foreplay or foresleep, Reiki massage is a wonderful way to be intimate with your partner.

The basic Reiki hand placements are not used while giving a massage. Reiki will naturally kick in during the session. For instance, you can lovingly give your partner a Reiki back rub:

1. Charge your (preferably organic) massage oils with Reiki energies. Sweet almond oil and jojoba oil are favorites for releasing stresses.

2. Have your partner lay on her stomach on the bed.

3. Cover the lower part of your partner's body with some warm towels so she will not be chilled.

4. Pour a handful of massage oil in your hands. Allow your Reiki hands to warm the oil.

5. Begin by smoothing your hands in slow, sweeping movements across your partner's neck, shoulders, and upper back.

6. Begin stroking and rubbing the neck and shoulders.

7. Continue kneading out any kinks or stresses as you move your hands down your partner's back.

8. Finish the massage by lightly scratching her skin surface with your fingernails in circular or figure-eight movements.

9. Lie down and snuggle up next to your partner.

Note: The back rub massage described here should not be used as therapy in a clinical setting or as a healing practice. Such behavior is not acceptable between a practitioner and a client and should be reserved for your intimate relationship.

Copyright © The Everything Reiki Book

I was attending a weekend retreat several years ago when I first heard the expression "I'm in a FOG." It was then explained to me that being in a FOG represented "F***ing Opportunity for Growth." Basically it's a crude way of saying that you are facing a crisis or are actually in the midst of chaos playing out in your life. A FOG can be an unsettled legal dispute, a personal health crisis, impending divorce, finding yourself unemployed, or some other unhappy scenario.

The tricky part is not what the actual crisis (FOG) is, but knowing how best to respond to it. It is very easy to become "reactive" when life throws us a curve ball. My tendency is usually to dodge the ball defensively, while others may react more offensively. But, not so fast. FOGs seldom clear away when we react to them in our normal fashion. Taking any action right off the bat is probably not a good idea. Usually just sitting in the midst of the FOG and waiting for any emotional energies attached to it to lift before reacting will be your best recourse. Allow yourself 24-48 hours to have a "pity party," although I don't suggest you invite any guests. But it is okay to have a solitary tantrum in your own private space. Suck in all your "woe is me" energies and embrace any emotional backlash you are feeling. Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself. Curse! Complain! Cry out "Why Me!?!" etc.

Be careful not to get stuck in the "poor me" state of mind for more than a couple of days. A crisis is raging, and you will need to take some kind of action. After the initial shock has worn off it may be a good time to slip into a more reflective state of mind and quietly ask "Why me? Why now?" rather than screaming out "WHY ME?" in despair. But truthfully, even during a calmer, reflective state you may not get a clear answer as to why you are caught in a chaotic situation no matter how connected you normally are to your inner dialogs. That's why it's called a FOG. It's difficult to understand the "why?" of such matters.

You have been gifted with an opportunity to grow as a person... but it won't look like a gift. It may very well feel like a slap in the face. I have often learned from past FOG experiences that, once the FOG has cleared and my life is again flowing less erratic, I will get a better perspective as to why I had to experience the struggles and the emotional stings. It can require a distanced view from the initial impact to see the bigger picture.

A FOG can actually be useful when it knocks us out of our comfort zones in order to nudge us into branching out in different directions. Remember, life is a journey. We're not going to get anywhere if we insist on standing still.

After I was able to re-map my course of action due to the detour that a FOG had forced me to take, I realize I was a better person for it. Surprisingly, I always land on my feet afterwards. The ground I end up standing on might be foreign to me, but I always know that, eventually, I will find my best direction to travel. This is not to say that I welcome FOGs to enter my life. I prefer a calmer existence on most days and, for this reason, I try my very best to pay attention to the quieter messages the Universe whispers gently in my ears. If I listen carefully and pay heed to the messages, there is no reason for the volume to get turned up to a deafening roar.

Can you believe it? I hardly can. You'll find the carnival post at About Holistic Healing . It includes links to some of the carnival's Mile Marker Editions before this week's attractions are listed. It was absolutely a mistake that I left the "i" out of carnival on the graphic. I would never purposely leave myself (i) out the carnival.
Carnival of Healing: 100th Editon

Welcome to the 98th edition of the Carnival of Healing. It has been a while since I hosted the carnival here at my Spiral Visions Blog. For those of you who have visited in the past you may notice a few changes. I recently dumped my old blog software that had become bloated and glitchy. I'm still getting the new one up to par. Anyway, thanks for visiting my blog, and I hope you enjoy the carnival today.

The Carnival of Healing is a weekly round-up of blogs across the Internet featuring information about healing, self empowerment, and spirituality.

Today's edition was originally to be hosted by Greenwoman's Wisdom but unfortunately Shannee is experiencing techincal difficulties with her blog so I am filling in for her. I hope she can get the problem resolved soon!

I chose the title "Choices" for today's carnival because the underlying theme of the contributed blog posts seemed to focus on personal choices. And there are plenty of carnival attractions to choose from...

Continue reading "Carnival of Healing #98 Choices" »

Eco-Libris is an organization that is promoting books being made with recycled paper. They are also suggesting you balance one book by planting a tree. This is a simple equation. One Book = One Tree. It works like this: for every dollar you send them they will plant a tree. They will also send you a sticker (made from recycled paper naturally) to place on the cover of each book you have eco-balanced to display your Green commitment. Being reminded that every book I read was created via a tree's sacrifice makes me cherish my beloved books all the more.

I had the honor of having my blog reviewed by Darcy, Spiritual Blog Reviews, a few days ago. Her blog is dedicated to publishing reviews of spiritually-centered blogs. Darcy says "All of the blogs reviewed here are good blogs with authors that are truly in touch with their own personal quests."

Not only can you stop by Darcy's blog and read the flattering review she gave Spiral Visions, but she will likely introduce you to some delightful blogs that you've yet to stumble upon on your own. This reminds me, I need to get my blogroll back in place. It went to the wayside when my old blog software went wacky. I wish Movable Type had a built in blogroll widget.

BTW - You'll discover that Darcy has a talent for flattery. I'm betting that she's the type of person who goes out of her way to find something nice to say about everyone, even those stinkers most folks would rather not associate with. I especially like the format of her reviews. She includes a screenshot of the blog that is the subject of her review, and also writes a personal note about "Something that touched me" before getting down the actual review.

Darcy's spiritual path apparently involves "gathering" -- she's definitely the person I would want to have with me whenever I went trampling through the woods on my berry picking expeditions. I imagine she would have a natural knack for finding the biggest juiciest berries.

Thank You Darcy, for making me feel special!

I'm attempting to get a better handle on my mishandling of emails. My sister told me about her email rule - Maximum of 50 emails in her inbox at any one time. This rule forces her to keep her email from bloating out of control. I opened up my mail program and saw that I had over 6000 emails in my INBOX -- it's a fact that I do get more email than she does, so I'm thinking I may have to use a higher number if I wish to follow her rules, but a reasonable and somewhat managable number -- MAXIMUM of 100 maybe. Anyway, over the past week I've managed to get the number down to 205 emails. How did I do it?

Much like sorting through items in a closet and choosing to either "Trash" "Donate" or "Keep" each item. I gave myself 3 options for each email "Delete" "Keep" or "Reply."

Delete
I ended up deleting many of my emails. I feel badly, but it is simply too embarrasing to answer emails that are over one year old. Better, the sender think this email was lost in cyberspace I'm thinking.

Keep
Emails that do not require a response, but have info in them which I may want to reference later are my "keepers." These emails are being moved into other mail folders in a loosely organized fashion. My mail folders are for reference only, I am not allowing myself to move emails that require a response to get filed into other folders where they will be forgotten.

Reply
Anyway, as of this morning I have 205 emails in my INBOX.... but most of them, probably all of them are requiring an answer so it is going to be tougher getting this number down to 100 or possibly 50 (am I dreaming?). I'm challenging myself to make this happen by the end of August.

Wish me luck in moving forward and sticking to this new rule. If I can do this, it will relieve the burden of my feeling guilt over unanswered and unattended email contacts.